When I was a kid I dreamed of becoming a rapper. The very first cassette tape (yes… cassette) that I ever bought with my own money was “Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em” by MC Hammer. If you can believe it, I even watched the cartoon!
One of the greatest influences in my childhood quest was dc Talk. The first time I ever got up in front of a crowd for any kind of solo performance was at my church, rapping to a track from dc Talk (I still have those somewhere). It’s actually something I did several times. I thank the Lord every single day that these occurrences took place before the invention of video phones and YouTube!
I can’t believe that I’m about to make this next confession, but, why not. Respect and integrity come with a price and that price is honesty. Another early influence of mine was Kris Kross… wanna jump jump? I am only somewhat ashamed to admit that I did indeed go through a phase where I wore my clothes backwards! My parents will attest to this slightly humiliating fact! I am quite confident though that all photographic evidence of this phase has been destroyed!
In High School, the “rap phase” continued, although I at least figured out what direction my pants went on. Truth be told, it’s really hard, as a man, to go to the bathroom in a hurry when the zipper is in the back! I will not say if this was a lesson learned the hard way. Instead I’ll leave that to your imagination!
My pants were brightly colored, something straight from the circus. My pants were also huge. Like, 13 sizes too huge! It was utterly ridiculous. If I walked too fast, they fell down. If my stride was too long, they fell down! If I jumped for a lay-up in basketball, they fell down… and I face planted (another story for another day). For this reason, I always made sure to wear entertaining underwear. Mostly boxers adorned with various and assorted cartoon characters!
I should, for the sake of clarity, stress that I was not a gangster, nor was I a gangsta! I was simply a goofy white kid who listened to Top 40 acceptable rap, and wore his pants too big because he enjoyed it! I was still a polite, cordial gentlemen. I was just one in something akin to a clown suit!
This phase of my life came to an end in High School. It was a forced ending. You see, in Grade 12 I got a co-op placement at 1470 C-HOW (Now Giant 91.7) in Welland Ontario. It was time to grow up, and time for a new wardrobe… one that fit and didn’t look like a bag of skittles blew up on it in the washing machine!
Joaquin Phoenix is a brilliant actor. Perhaps most noted for his performance as Johnny Cash in “Walk The Line” I, personally, prefer one of his other roles. Without much effort I’m sure you can figure it out. He was the star of Ladder 49, alongside John Travolta. That was an incredible movie!
Mr Phoenix seems to be living his life in the reverse of mine. While I’m now focused on my broadcasting and voice career, and I’ve left the rap phase of my life, Joaquin has decided to retire from his acting career and move into the rap phase of his life.
A video has surfaced of his rap debut. Although I didn’t understand a word of it, I will make two observations. First, I think I was better. Second… at least I didn’t fall off the stage!!! http://is.gd/gpqm
Please Mr Phoenix Don’t Hurt ‘Em!!!
2 Responses
Yes Marc how well I remember those BRIGHTLY colored SUPER BAGGY pants you had. Many is the time I wondered if that was how you smuggled all the bags of chips and bottles of pop into your room. I know it was surely not the way they found their way out.
Posted on February 7th, 2009 at 17:55
[...] High School I went through an odd phase of odd clothes. Refer to this blog At Least I Never Fell Off The Stage… for more on that. I wore clothes 8 sizes too big and in very bright colors as well. I was the [...]
Posted on April 13th, 2009 at 00:04