Because I Can… the random thoughts of Marc Scott

Thank You by 33 Miles

Twitter is a pretty cool thing.  If you’ve never checked it out, I suggest you do.  I love the fact that you can connect with just about anyone and discuss just about anything.  There are quite a few celebrities using it now, and that has just added to it’s popularity.  I like that people like John Mayer, Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore, Shaquille O’Neal and others use it to connect.  It’s not messages coming from their publicist.  It’s messages coming from them.

One of the people I follow is Rob Thomas (twitter.com/ThisIsRobThomas).  Today he posted the following…

PT.1 i’m so tired of people saying that the miss usa contestant, Carrie Prejean, had courage to speak her mind. she’s a bigot.

PT.2 i’m sorry, but i think if you’re against gay marriage, you are a bigot and you shouldn’t be applauded for sharing your bigoted views.

I’m not one that goes around looking for controversy, but I was a little stirred by what he said.  Rob Thomas is most certainly entitled to his opinion, as is anyone, but I felt the need to respond to his post.  To be honest, he’s Rob Thomas.  I didn’t expect he would even read my reply, let alone respond to it.

@MarcScott: What about my right to believe in the biblical definition of marriage? I’m not a bigot. I just believe something different.

@ThisIsRobThomas: But your bible can’t tell me what i can do i MY home. your religion is for YOU.

@MarcScott: I agree. But the fact that I don’t share your belief doesn’t make me a bigot anymore than it makes u for not sharing mine.

It was a couple of quick comments back and forth between us.  Then the fun began.  I started getting inundated with messages from Rob Thomas fans who had been following along.  Let me just say that some of them were less than impressed with my thoughts.

If you want to get a lot of people to stop following your Twitter feed in a hurry… mention something about gay marriage and the Bible.  I think I lost around 20 followers after those messages.  I was OK with that though.  I had to stand up for what I believed.

What was really cool though was that, after sharing those “tweets”, I spent the next 4 hours messaging back and forth with a lot of his fans about the topic.  Here is what I’ve learned.  People will hear you out if you show them respect.  That is where I find the church often goes wrong.  It doesn’t always show respect.  It just says, “gay marriage is wrong and homosexuals are sinners” and it pretty much ends the conversation there.

For the record, I do believe gay marriage is wrong, and I also believe that homosexuality is a sin.  However, I think there are right ways and wrong ways to approach the conversation.  To the “Christians” who were ripping on Rob Thomas and telling people to stop following him… that would be the wrong way!

I was willing to hear people out.  Even the people that were calling me a bigot.  I let them speak and I didn’t judge them.  When they were finished, I shared my thoughts.  We had conversation and it’s foundation was love and mutual respect.  I explained that God’s definition of marriage is between a man and a woman and I think we should preserve the definition of marriage to remain in sync with that.  People hit me with the “free will” argument, to which I responded, that doesn’t mean I have to agree with your choices.  People said, “God wouldn’t discriminate against gays” and I had a chance to explain that God does love gays, but what they are doing is still a sin.  It went on and on.

I told people that it wasn’t my job to tell them if they were wrong or right.  I was simply explaining my belief to them.  That lead to several of them asking for scripture references so they could see for themselves.  I can’t even explain to you how awesome that felt.  Some of these people, I suspect, have very little, if any use, for the Bible.  Yet, they wanted to know where God said these things so they could look it up for themselves.

Carrie Prejean is now going to be participating in a national TV ad against gay marriage.  $1.5 million dollars is being spent on this campaign.  I haven’t seen the commercial, so I won’t put forth an opinion yet.  However, I’m not convinced this is the best approach.  I fear, whether it is meant to or not, that it will come across as another “attack on gays” by the Fundamentalist Conservatives.  That is not the way to use your voice.  That is not the way to get people to listen.

I do not have all the answers on the topic of gay marriage.  For a lot of people it’s a question of basic human rights.  Rights that are afforded to heterosexual married couples, but not gay couples.  I don’t have a good answer for that.  Why is a murderer, who is a sinner, extended rights, but a gay person, who is also a sinner, is not?  I don’t know.  I don’t have an answer.

It’s easy to say that if a gay person would turn from their sin, then this wouldn’t be an issue.  But really, is it that easy?  I don’t think it is.  I have read stories of Christian men and women who have done everything possible, right down to exorcism ceremonies to try and free themselves of their homosexual desires.  When it doesn’t work, what do you we?  Cast them aside?  Banish them to pits of hell?  Take from them the rights afforded to the “straight” people in society?  It seems to me like that isn’t a very good answer either.

Jesus said to love your neighbour as yourself.  It sort of comes down to that for me.  I don’t have all the answers.  I just know that tearing people down isn’t going to make them want to hear me out.  I also know that not everybody is going to agree with me, and that’s OK too.  But there still needs to be love.

So here I am watching and live blogging the Idol results.

First up, I loved the group number this week.  Some weeks I can take it or leave it, but this week I really liked it.  Great assortment of songs and a great arrangement as well.

I am shocked by the bottom 3.  Shocked!!!  I am not an Adam Lambert fan, nor have I been from the beginning.  If this was Broadway Idol, he’d be the guy to beat.  No denying his talent.  I just don’t know about him as a Pop Star.  Anywho, despite the fact that I’m not a fan, America and the judges have loved this guy from day 1.  To see him in the bottom 3 blows my mind.  I think I feel out of my chair at the same time Kara’s mouth fell open!  Not surprised to see Matt in the bottom 3.  A little surprised to see Kris there though.

PS: I have a crush on Kara DioGuardi!

Natalie Cole was awesome!  What a great song, what a great performance.  All recorded music should have a big band backing it up!

OK, I love Matt Giraud.  I’ve been a big fan of his all along.  I would hate to see him go tonight, but I can’t help but think tonight might be his night.

Soul Patrol! Soul Patrol! Soul Patrol!  I’m a big Taylor Hicks fan.  I picked him to win Idol.  I was doing morning radio at the time and on my radio show I picked him to win during his initial audition.  It’s good to see him back.  He was awesome tonight.

Kris is safe. Hokey Dina… could it possibly be the end of the road for Adam Lambert?  I might have to do a happy dance, while at the same time being shocked and stunned into silence!

So Matty G is done.  The first guy in the history of Idol to get saved, and now Top 5 is the end of the road.  I’m sorry to see him go, but he is not done!  No question we’ll be hearing from Matty G again.  If he comes out with an album, I’ll be throwing that bad boy on my iPod!

I’ve got a friend who used to have a boat.  It was a great boat.  An 18ft Doral Bowrider.  It had a purple stripe around it.  I think that made it fast.  Maybe not.  It seems to me though that purple on a boat says fast.  On a car, not so much.  But on a boat, it says fast.

We spent every Sunday afternoon on that boat from the minute the seasons changed and the weather permitted it.  As soon as church let out, we’d be changed, grabbing lunch, and heading to the river.  Water-skiing, tubing, and relaxing.  That was the order of the day.

I’ve got a lot of happy memories of a lot of great Sunday afternoons with good friends in that boat.  I hit a cow driving that boat once.  It wasn’t alive at the time, but it was definitely a cow.  That’s another story for another blog though.  I will say this, if you’re ever driving a boat at 40 mph, I strongly advise you to not hit a cow!  I also lost my bathing suit while tubing once.  Again, another story for another blog.  Let’s just say that if the draw-string hadn’t got hooked on my big toe… I would’ve been coming out of the water stark naked!  If you’ve ever questioned the existence of God, I assure you that every person in the boat believed in Him that day!  Only the God that created the heavens and the earth would love my friends enough for them to not have to see me get out of the water naked.

I like to think that God has put me here for a purpose.  I don’t mean here in the sense of sitting in my red chair from Ikea, drinking a tall cool glass of water, writing this blog.  I’m talking more in the cosmic sense.  Big picture I suppose.  People ask me what I do in my apartment when I’m all alone.  I like to tell them I contemplate the meaning of my existence.  It seems to me that if God did in fact put me here for a purpose, then I would be well served to discover it and get working on it.

Last night I got woke up for a fire call.  I have a bit of a sleeping disorder, so once I’m awake, it’s not easy for me to fall back asleep.  Especially after putting out a fire.  I got home from the call around 2am.  As I laid in bed staring at the ceiling, I started doing some of that contemplating.  You know, about the meaning and purpose of my existence and all.

When I talk to God I like to talk out loud.  It makes Him feel more real to me.  Like He’s sitting there in the room with me, maybe on my weight bench, and we’re just hanging out having a conversation.  So I was asking Him about my purpose last night.  I was just curious if I was on track, or if I needed to think about some changes.  I know it sounds crazy, like I’m certifiable or something.  But really, I think God is cool with us talking to Him about these kind of things.

In the midst of our little chat, I got to thinking about the anchor on our boat.  I don’t know why.  I hadn’t been thinking about the boat at all.  Then out of nowhere, I’m thinking about the anchor.  It’s funny thing, the anchor on a boat.  I was always impressed by how something so small can hold something so big.  I mean, the boat was 18ft and the anchor was maybe 10 inches across at the most.  But it held us.

Anchors are an interesting paradox to me.  If you’re talking about a person who is an anchor, for example, it’s someone that is reliable.  Somebody that you can count on.  My old Fire Department used to do tug-a-war competitions with other fire halls.  The guy that anchored our team was like an oak tree.  You didn’t move him.  Well, maybe with a forklift or something.  An anchor is stability.  He gave the team that!

Back to the boat though, the anchor held us.  When we found a place where we wanted to stop on the river, we’d turn the boat off and drop anchor.  Our little 10″ anchor would lower to the river bed and catch, and we were parked.  We could stretch out, catch some rays or jump in the water and take a swim.  Regardless, we knew the boat wasn’t going anywhere.  It was stable.

I didn’t really understand what this had to do with the purpose of my existence.  Then I got to thinking about the whole anchor paradox thing.  Anchors provide stability.  But anchors also hold things.  Do you get it?  Maybe not.  Let me see if I can explain this a little better.  When we wanted to park the boat, we’d drop the anchor.  But when we were ready to move the boat again, we needed to lift the anchor.

It’s good to have things in our life that provide us with stability.  Those can be a lot of different things I suppose.  Family, in my opinion, would be among the top of the list.  Good friends, a good church, even a good job.  All of those things can provide us with stability.  They are like anchors that are keeping us grounded.  On the flip side of that are things that can weigh us down when we should be moving forward.  The anchors that we need to get out of the water before we can set sail again.

Sometimes things hold us back from doing what we’re supposed to be doing.  Like an anchor though, it could just be something small.  Something we may not notice.  Something we may not think of.  Something we may be well aware of, but have just ignored.  Before we can start working on our purpose, before we can “set sail”, we need to weigh anchor.

Time to live blog American Idol again.  I’m really excited about the show tonight.  Songs of the Rat Pack.  Wow!  Doesn’t get much better than that.  But for the love of bacon… PLEASE DON’T RUIN SINATRA!  I’m so afraid of what Adam Lambert might do to one of my favorite standards.

Interesting choice for the mentor tonight.  I think that Michael Buble would’ve been the perfect choice for a mentor.  So I was a little surprised to see Jamie Fox come out.  We’ll see how it goes.

Kris Allen kicks it off tonight and he offered the following wisdom, “We can only do what we know how to do.”  Quite profound Kris.  I love “The Way You Look Tonight”  It’s an awesome song.  I think he can do it and do it well.  After all, he can only do what he knows how to do.  Jamie Fox had some high praise for him that’s for sure.  OK, you know what… as usual, Kris was awesome!  He nailed it.  Great job.  Great way to start off the show.  VERDICT: He has at least 2 more weeks I think.

Great quote of the night… “You’re like taking a well trained spaniel for a walk.” Simon Cowell. Wow… I thought only Paula was capable of a critique like that.  What does that even mean anyway?

Allison is 17 now.  Guess what… she’s still amazing for her age.  I’m really glad that she is still here.  She deserves to be here.  I can’t get over how great her voice is.  She really does have the Kelly Clarkson thing going on.  She has such incredible vocal control too.  Wow.  Dang.  I just can’t get over how much talent this girl has.  OK.  She killed that song tonight.  Holy crap.  I don’t know what else to say.  Holy crap.  Randy said it best… “that was the bomb!”  I agree! VERDICT: She is phenomenal!

Another great quote, “Can I say something to Simon?  I love you, but you are CRAZY!”

Matt Giraud doing My Funny Valentine.  I’m looking forward to this.  I think this week is a make or break week for Matty, whom is one of my favorites!  He could really shine this week if he does it right.  Mat really does have great range, and he does well when he sings falsetto.  He has a good voice, he has good control.  He has definitely struggled in the past though, with numerous visits to the bottom.  It’s so hard at this point when there are only 5 left.  I don’t know that he set himself up like he needed to.  VERDICT: Not sure how to call this one.

Commercials ruin American Idol.  Here is what I think… Ford should just own the whole show and run it commercial free.  In return, we can just suffer through another Ford music video each week.

Danny Gokey goes in the #4 slot tonight.  This could be a good week for him too.  It seems like it would fit in his style.  Any performance that starts with a good horn solo is already starting on the right foot.  Nothing beats a fat horn section.  Man I love the feel of Big Band.  All music should sound like that.  Danny is just a solid, pure vocalist.  I really think he could sing the Yellow Pages and I’d buy the album!  I liked the bluesy feel too.  It worked.  I can actually seeing him doing an album filled with songs like that.  I’d buy it!  VERDICT: Still my pick to win.

Adam Lambert closes out the show again tonight.  Is it just me or does he close it out a lot?  Maybe I’m just imaging it.  I don’t know.  For the record, the Michael Buble version of this song is one of my favorites of this great standard!  I’m so afraid right now.  OK, so… I didn’t like it at all.  No big surprise.  I don’t like Adam Lambert.  I just don’t get him.  He can sing, I suppose, but I just don’t get him and I certainly wouldn’t buy his record.  He just makes things rock and scream-sings.  Whatever, America seems to love him so good for America.  Maybe that’s my problem.  I’m Canadian so I can’t understand.  VERDICT: Yeah, yeah… he’ll be back.

Quote of the night… “If scream-singing was a genre, Adam Lambert would be the poster child.” Marc Scott

Now that we are down to the final 5, it’s getting very hard to call.  I’m thinking it might be Matty going home but it could also be Allison.  Not necessarily because she should, but just because America doesn’t seem to vote for her like she deserves.  Guess we’ll find out tomorrow.

I’ve often thought it would be cool to write a book.  Actually, I suppose “author” a book would be a more appropriate term.  I really haven’t literally written since I got my first computer.  I’m not entirely sure if I’d even remember how.  So it would be cool to author a book.

I don’t really know what my book would be about.  I don’t feel as though I have anything book-worthy to say.  Even if I did, I certainly wouldn’t expect that I’d be able to fill an entire book.  It seems to me that if you want your book to taken seriously, if you want it on the bestseller list, it needs to be big.  It should be thick and grand, brimming with hefty words.  The greater the number of syllables, the more eloquent and intelligent it would sound.  I don’t know if I could write a book like that.  Perhaps I’d be best to begin a little further down the literary hierarchy .  Maybe a short book.  I could use large print and double space.  Perhaps I could throw in a few illustrations to increase the content.

I get lost in daydreams when I think of my book.  I picture a man, middle-aged.  He is sitting in the park.  He’s wearing slacks, tan, like they just spent a week on the beach in the Caribbean.  A white, short-sleeved shirt is covered by a sweater vest, not unlike those worn by Mr Rogers.  It’s blue.  Not blue like the sky mind you.  You know the color of blue that the oceans are when you see earth from space?  A deep, rich, bold kind of blue?  It’s like that.  He has a hat.  A wool plaid cap and he’s smoking a pipe.  He wears glasses.  Thick rimmed, black.  They rest on the end of his nose.  The way somebody wears them when they want to be able to look down and through them, or up and over them.  He looks distinguished.  Intelligent.  Like a professor or something.  The kind of guy that you’d go to if you needed the answer to a really hard question.

The air is warm, a light breeze takes the edge off.  The grass is green and thick.  Children are playing in the distance.  People are rollerblading and cycling along the paths.  There is chess table, like the kind you see in the movies.  Two elderly gentlemen are sitting at it playing.  My professor though, is sitting on a park bench.  He’s leaning a bit, left leg crossed over the right.  With his right hand he holds a book, with his left hand he works the pipe.  It appears as though he is unaware of the world around him.  Whatever this piece of literature is he holds in his hand, it has consumed him.

In my daydream, my professor is reading my book.  I like to picture it this way because it makes me feel good.  If such an intelligent looking man would spend his afternoon in the park with my book, then it must be good.  After all, such a man wouldn’t devote his time to pages unworthy.

Women would read my book too.  But I don’t put near as much imagination into the type of woman that would read it.  Men watch sports in my head.  They don’t really read books.  It seems like only certain types of men would, and that is the type I picture.  Of course, I read books and I don’t look anything like that.  But I read books in hopes that one day I can be deep and profound and articulate.  Then, perhaps, I’ll be perceived as intelligent, even if my high school transcripts say otherwise.

Women though, in my opinion, are generally smarter than men in many ways.  Maybe not in the greasing the chainsaw sort of way, but in most other ways.  So I don’t need to picture a specific woman reading my book.  I picture all women reading it because I just assume all women read.  I don’t mean to sound arrogant by saying I picture all women reading my book.  It’s not an ego thing, like my book is so great all women will read it.  It’s just more of me picturing all women reading books, so they could, theoretically, all read mine.

I can lose myself in this daydream for a long time.  Is it still technically a daydream if it happens at night?  I’ve often wondered about that.  I get lost in my thoughts a lot.  But it definitely happens to me most often while I’m in bed.  I’m not asleep mind you.  I think it’s just because I’m quiet.  Darkness is my blanket.  There is no TV, no radio, no computer.  Just the gentle whirring of my refrigerator.  For the record, that’s not in my room.  My apartment is just small and so I hear it at night.  So I lay in bed and think and dream, I’m just still awake when I do it.  I think about my book and about people reading it.  Then I think about how much my fridge runs and wonder if that’s normal.

I never expected I’d be writing a blog.  I really don’t know what brought that on.  It just seemed like the thing to do at the time.  I had some stuff to say, the internet is free, I already had my own web site.  So why not start a blog?  I’m not on the NY Times Bestseller list, that’s for sure.  Maybe it’s practice?  That thought has crossed my mind.  It’s a good dream though, even if that’s all it is.  I love dreaming about my book.

When I was younger people used to bet me that I was going to have a heart attack by age 25.  I don’t know exactly what happened, but I think maybe I missed the memo on life and the common length of it.  For some reason, as a result, I felt compelled to accomplish everything by 25.

I wanted to be on the radio, so when I was in my final year of high school, I did a co-op at a radio station.  I had to put in 3 hours a day.  Often, I put in 8.  I sometimes even went in on weekends.  I was pretty hardcore.  When I graduated from high school, I got a job at that same station for the summer.  In the winter, I got hired at a different station full time.  I was 18.

I decided to skip college and work for a year.  I figured it would be a good way to save some money for school and gain a little experience in the industry.  I’m not exactly sure who I was trying to fool.  I was never going to go to college.

I was a machine.  I wanted a career, I wanted success, and I worked my tail off for it.  By the age of 20, I was doing radio and TV.  That lasted for a while until I went full time into TV.  I worked stupid hours there.  I mean, entirely stupid hours.  It wasn’t uncommon for me to go into the office on a Thursday and not come home until a Monday.  I’d just sleep on the set of 100 Huntley St whenever I got a little tired.  Eventually, I think around 22, I got back into radio, and did both for a while, yet again.

People figured I’d have a heart attack because I worked way to much and I never slept.  I also didn’t eat very well.  It’s a wonder I’m not 600 pounds!  I just really felt like I knew what I wanted to do and I was going to work until I accomplished it.  I didn’t really think too much about the consequences.  I also didn’t feel like there was any point in taking my time.  Why not get it done now?  So I kept going and by 26 I was running a radio station… my career goal.

I’m 30 now.  I’m wiser.  Of course, I had to lose absolutely everything including my wife, my house, my career and even my dog, to gain said wisdom.  But I gained it.  I’ve learned about pacing myself.  I’ve learned about priorities.  I’m a recovering workaholic, and I thank God every single day that I never had that heart attack by age 25!

I watched a great movie tonight.  Stranger Than Fiction.  If you haven’t seen it, I’d recommend you do.  What a profound movie.  It really left me sitting and thinking about my life.

We all do what we do each day.  Much of it, I suspect, is routine and mundane.  Of course, all of life can’t be an exciting adventure I suppose.  But it makes me wonder, if we knew how our story was going to play out, and I mean, our entire life story, would we do things differently?  If you knew the date of your death, would you keep going the way you’re going?  Or would you change it all up and live the life you really want to live?

I like to think that I’m on track.  That I’m serving a purpose.  That I’m accomplishing things I’m supposed to be accomplishing.  We all want to believe that.  We want what we do here, what we say, the relationships we have, we want it all to matter.  But when I asked myself the question, if I knew when I’d die would I do anything differently, I couldn’t help but think maybe I would.

That’s a tough reality to face.  If there are things I’d do differently if I knew more about my story, then that means I’m not doing things the way I want to do them now.  It means I’m settling or compromising.  I don’t think it necessarily means I’m doing anything wrong.  I just have to wonder if I’m doing things the way I’d really like.  I mean, really deep down inside, the way I’d like.

The truth is, much like the movie, there is an author that is writing our story.  The big difference is, we don’t get any insights into the next chapter, or even the next page.  As much as we may like to know how, and when our story is going to end, those details aren’t for us to be thinking about right now.  Wayne’s World will not going down in history as being one of the more profound movies of our time, but it did give us this gentle reminder to, “Live in the now man!”

I still have goals.  Things I’d like to accomplish personally and professionally.  I think that’s important.  I also think it’s important to have a certain level of liquidity too.  Things aren’t always going to play out like we planned because, at the end of the day, we are not the author of our story.  Like Harold Crick, we are a character.  We still get to have choices, and we still get to make decisions, but the story, including the ending, has already been written.  It just motivates me make the best decisions possible while I work my way there.

Sports fans are a fickle group.  Not fickle in our love of sport mind you.  We are always passionate about sport.  Our love for it is steadfast and strong.  Our fickleness has more to do with allegiance to our team.  It can be swayed.  Not like an earthquake can shake a building from it’s very foundation.  It’s not quite that intense.  But more like a strong wind will heave a tall tree to-and-fro.  Our roots remain anchored, but still, we shift.

I’ve been a Toronto Blue Jays fan forever.  I’m not entirely sure, but I think it may be ingrained as a pre-requisite when you are born Canadian.  Maybe at least if you’re born in Ontario.  I suppose it’s not unlike passion for the Toronto Maples Leafs.  Then again, I couldn’t care less about hockey, so perhaps that’s a bad analogy.

CIBC used to give free Jays posters away back when I was a kid.  They’d come out with a new one every season I think.  I had a paper route back then.  I was never a big fan of saving money.  What kid is?  I had much more important things on my mind.  Sweedish Berries.  Lik-M-Aid (it’s seem an inappropriate name for candy doesn’t it?).  Big League Chew.  Gobstoppers.  Baseball Cards.  Yes, banking was certainly not high on my list of priorities.  To bank was to be old.  I’d likely have to start wearing a suit, or at least that is what I thought when I was a kid.

Mom was pretty adamant about me saving money though.  So she made me open an account.  Since the only bank in my small town was CIBC, I decided I would give them the pleasure and privilege of my business.  In return, they gave me Toronto Blue Jays posters.  It seemed a fair trade.  I had quite a few of them on my wall.  I don’t recall all the players now, but I do remember a Pat Borders one.

The walls of my room were covered with these CIBC Blue Jays posters along with some other Jays memorabilia.  I know there was a towel, a foam Jays logo (the old cool logo), and a Pennant.  It wasn’t hard to tell where my loyalty lied.

It was easy to be a Jays fan back then.  Especially when they were bringing home World Series wins and always seemed to be competitive.  Then we went into a slump that’s lasted for a while.  Is 15 years the technical definition of “a while?”  I’m not sure.  Regardless, it’s been a long, tough decade and a bit to watch Blue Jays baseball.

Have you ever noticed when a sports fan is talking about his team he uses phrases like, “we’re doing awesome right now!”  ”This year is our year!”  ”We picked up a big win last night.”  ”Our guys are looking good this season.”  When your team is doing well, they really are your team.  You talk about them like you’re a part of it.  Us, we, our.  It’s like you’ve got an ownership stake, or like you’re actually a part of it.  It feels good to be riding the wave of success.

Then there is the big loss.  A game where your team gets crushed.  Maybe you go on a cold streak.  Maybe you miss the playoffs.  Then all of the sudden your language changes.  ”They suck right now!”  ”I can’t believe they blew it this year.”  ”They got pounded last night.”  ”Those guys are looking like junk this season.”  Maybe it’s true what they say, when the going gets tough, the tough get going… right off the bandwagon!

That is what I’m talking about with the fickleness of sports fans.  Deep down, you still love your team.  But when things aren’t going so well, you disassociate from them a little bit.  You pull your ownership stake.  You don’t really want to be a part of it anymore.

When God is blessing me, my life is great.  I have a great show.  I booked a voice over job I really wanted to land.  I get an encouraging email from a friend.  I have an exciting experience at a fire call.  My bills are paid and there is a little money left in the bank for an Amazon shopping spree.  Whatever it might be, I’m loving God and God is loving me.  We are tight.  We are on the same team.

Then there are the other days.  The days when I have a bad show.  The days when I rank 1st on a big voice job, but then I don’t get a call back.  The days when I decide to go out of town for a few hours and end up missing 4 fire calls.  The days when something doesn’t turn out anything like I had hoped or dreamed or prayed for.  Those are the days when we stop saying “us” and “we” and start referring to the team as “them”.

No team is going to win every game.  They aren’t going to win every title.  They’ll have ups and downs, hot streaks and cold streaks.  It’s a lot like life.  God never promised we’d book every job.  He never promised we’d always have a little extra money in the bank.  He never promised every relationship will turn out the way we want.  He never promised sunshine and rainbows.

No matter where my loyalty lies, the Toronto Blue Jays are always going to be the Toronto Blue Jays.  Whether we’re winning, or they’re losing, baseball will be played. When I show up at the Dome or turn on the game, they’ll still let me be a fan.  God is the same.  When we’re feeling close to Him because we’re feeling blessed, and when we’re questioning Him or pushing Him away because we’re feeling shafted, His love will always remain.

God never promised us a smooth journey.  162 games is a long season, after all, with pretty of opportunities for ups and downs!  He just promised us He’d be there with us through it all if we’ll let Him.  I just wish I could be as loyal to Him as He is to me!

I once read that if you like somebody you should tell them.  It might be embarrassing, but you’ll never regret stepping up.  There is truth in that.  I suppose there is truth in that.  Of course, all the truth in the world wouldn’t actually make me bold enough to make such a move.

Loneliness is bad for me.  Of course, it’s not really good for anyone.  But I definitely know it’s bad for me.  It gives me too much time to think.  I’m a thinker.  Those that know me well would say I’m an over-thinker.  They’re right.  I guess that’s why they know me well.  I confess, that I most definitely over think.  Especially when it comes to girls and the idea of telling one I like them.

In my loneliness, which leaves me in my thought, I cover the spectrum.  To the moon and back.  If you’re going to think something through, you may as well cover all your bases.  That’s what I say anyway.  My first thought is usually something like this… I will tell this girl I like her, and she will tell me she likes me back.  It will be perfect, and beautiful, and romantic, and just like a Fred & Ginger movie.  Without question, we’ll live happily ever after!  I like that thought.  I think that may be why I daydream so much.  If I can’t find it in reality, I create it for myself in an alternate reality.  For the record, I’m not crazy.

After I’ve covered the sensational side of thought, I move it a little more towards the middle.  These thoughts usually include things like, maybe she’ll like me.  Maybe she’ll agree to go out with me and we’ll decide we like each other.  Maybe we’ll just be friends.  Maybe this will be the first and last conversation we’ll ever have.  Maybe she’ll have a boyfriend.  Maybe she’ll be engaged.  Or, even worse, maybe she’ll be married!  As I work my way through the middle towards the other end of my thought spectrum, I usually arrive at the, who’s kidding who… she’s not even going to talk to me side.

This, I have decided, with no actual experience to base it on mind you, is where my reality exists.  This is what keeps me from talking to girls.  That and the fact that I do not have the talent of conversing easily with people I’ve never met.  For the ladies reading, yes, that is a Mr Darcy quote from Pride & Prejudice.  And yes, I’ve seen the movie several times and rather enjoyed it, though I’ve not yet read the book.  I will.  I don’t know why I’ve decided this is where my reality lies.  I just know I’ve thought about it plenty and assume this is how it would play out.

On the far reaching side of the spectrum from the young lady in question turning out to be the one true love of my life, there is my greatest fear.  This, in fact, has also kept me from speaking to ladies on numerous occasions.  You are going to laugh.  It’s OK.  I laugh too.  In my little parallel universe of thought, I fear that I will confess my interest to a lady only for her to tell me she was previously a man.  It sounds utterly ridiculous, but these days, it could happen!

Today I spent the day with 400 women.  It gets better.  I spent the day with 4 other guys with 400 women.  Think about those odds for a minute.  400 women… 5 guys.  Pretty stellar.  If you’re a guy.  Oh, but I’m not done yet.  Of the 5 of us guys, 2 were married.  That means, 400 women and 3 guys.  It just keeps getting better.  “It’s like heaven,” one of them joked.

I worked an event for World Vision today.  It’s an event for women (Girls Night Out).  You figured that out right?  I thought so.  Anyway, it was me and 4 other guys that were running the bulk of the event.  I want you to know that none of us do this to meet women, although, after reading the first 600 words of this blog you may think that.  However, at the end of the event, the married guys were most definitely harassing us single guys about whether or not we got any numbers.  None of us did.

I spent most of the day floating around the venue desperately attempting to go unnoticed.  Meeting women was, in fact, that farthest thought from my mind.  I feel confident in saying that none of these women may have previously been men, so that wasn’t necessarily a factor in my desire to go unnoticed.  That’s just kind of how I role at these events.

As the event came to a close, I found myself sitting off to the side of the stage, the man behind the curtain if you will.  The MC for day, Kelita, (who is spectacular is so many ways – Kelita.com) was sitting at the piano, and lead the ladies in Amazing Grace.  As I sat there in the quiet darkness of the offstage area, I found myself moved nearly to tears as I listened to the chorus of 400 angels singing such a beautiful song.

I don’t know if being one of a handful of single guys in a room of 400 woman is necessarily how I would describe heaven.  But I will say this, I really hope it sounds a little something like they did as they sang that song!

As the story has been told to me, I’ve been going to church since I was two weeks old.  I’ve never been one that’s had to be forced to go either.  When I got older, I went of my own free will.  I’m 30 years old now, living on my own, and I still go to church on Sunday.  I go because I want to, not because I feel like it’s right, or good for me, or I need to score a gold star in attendance to keep myself out of hell.

I’ve worked in Christian Media.  I’ve hosted 3 different Christian music video shows (CCM Video Countdown, Rewind & The YourMusicZone Top 10).  I’ve worked on another one, East 2 West, which you may now know as Most Requested.  I’ve been involved with 3 Christian radio stations, Life 100dot3, Joy 1250 and KAOS 99.5.  I was even a character voice on the first 3 installments of the God Rocks children’s video series.

In a phase of my life which I never would have predicted had you ever asked me beforehand, I even ended up as a Youth Pastor.  Never in a million years did I see that one coming.  It just sort of happened one day.  I loved it though.  I was in Youth Ministry for a couple of years.

My point in sharing some of these highlights about my past is to paint a bit of a picture.  To show you that I’m pretty serious about my faith.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think you need to be a Pastor or work in Christian radio in order to be serious about your faith.  They are just areas I felt called to.

Over time, a lot of Christians have done a pretty fantastic job of painting a lousy picture to the rest of the world about who we are and what we believe.  In fact, I read a statistic that claims 80% of adults find Christians confusing.  I suppose I’m not entirely surprised by this.  I get confused by Christians and I am one!

The media has been on Christians pretty hard in the past couple of days because of the whole Perez Hilton / Miss California deal.  Check the blog post In Support Of Miss California for more on that.

Media loves to quote “Christian Leaders” who say a lot of stupid things, and then use that to paint us all with the same brush.  I confess, it’s frustrating and embarrassing.  I suppose some of these “Leaders” are trying to say the right thing.  Maybe they genuinely think they’re doing good.  I don’t know.  It’s not my place to judge them, and I certainly don’t hold enough degrees or doctorates to try and make sense of them.

I don’t always do so well in church.  I have a tendency, when something really gets to me, to be a little outspoken.  I have most definitely got myself into trouble with leadership on more than on occasion for speaking, quite openly, about my opinion on issues.  I’ve had many civil conversations, and a few heated ones in my day.  I believe what I believe, and I believe it strongly enough to defend it when necessary.

I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.  I will give anyone the benefit of the doubt until they give me a reason to not.  That is to say, I’ll sit down with you.  I listen to what you have to say.  When you’re done, I’ll formulate my opinion.  All I ask is that, in return, you extend me the same courtesy.  Maybe we’ll agree.  Maybe we won’t.  At least both sides can be heard.

So, let me tell you a few things I believe.  I believe in God, and I believe He created the earth.  I believe that courtesy of the fall of man in the Garden of Eden, all of us now have a sin nature.  Don’t believe me?  Consider this.  Why do we have to be taught right from wrong as children?  Why do we so often prefer to do wrong even after said teaching?  If we didn’t have a sin nature, such teaching would be irrelevant because we would all just do right naturally.

Because of our sin nature we were separated from God.  This is where Jesus comes in.  Think about Jesus and his entry in the world.  Born in a barn to an unwed mother.  Back in the day, it really didn’t get much worse than that.  He became human to connect.  So we could connect.  It’s hard to fathom, much less relate, to a heavenly being, floating on a cloud, drifting around in space looking down on us.  But a man, well… we can understand a man.  We can relate to a man.  We can have a relationship with a man!

That is the key.  Relationship.  To often Christianity is portrayed as an annoying religion and the Bible is its rule book.  Follow the rules in the Bible, get to heaven.  Don’t follow the rules in the Bible, go to hell.  This is where we (Christianity/Christians) lose people.

Jesus wants a relationship with us.  Part of that relationship is the offering of forgiveness.  He understands our sin nature, and He understands that we are less than perfect.  But He loves us in spite of our flaws.  I suppose, in it’s most raw sense, the Bible does have rules for right living.  The thing is, when you have a relationship with Jesus, when you accept that forgiveness, you genuinely want to live different.  To live better.  Suddenly, the Bible doesn’t become about rules to guide you between heaven and hell, it becomes a guide to lead you closer to the creator of the universe.

If I had to sum it up in a word, it would be love.  That is not a word commonly associated with Christians today.  I am a sinner and by definition that makes me no different than the thief, than the gay, than the murderer.  In God’s eyes, we are all the same.  He extends forgiveness to us all the same.  He loves us all the same.

You don’t have to go to church every Sunday, read your Bible for 3 hours a day, and pray over your Big Mac to receive this love.  It’s yours for free.  You don’t need to wear a WWJD bracelet, you don’t need to wear a cross necklace, you don’t even have to have “Amazing Grace” as the only song on your iPod to receive forgiveness.  You just have to ask.

A common misconception is that you need to have your life together before any of this can happen.  I am sorry to say that the church has done a very good job of feeding this myth.  The reality is, that’s total crap.  Right now, wherever you’re at… it’s yours.

Another common misconception is that if you ask for forgiveness you have to start living a perfect life or you get “kicked out of the club” so to speak.  Again, I’m sorry to say the church has done a pretty good job of feeding this myth as well.  And, again, this is total crap.  Nobody will ever live a perfect life.  I don’t care if you’re the Pope or Billy Graham.  Forgiveness doesn’t happen once.  It happens as often as we need it.

It’s not an easy road, this Christ following thing.  It does mean you’re going to make some changes.  But that’s not because you have to.  It’s because you’ll want to.  You may start going to church, and I bet you’ll even open up a Bible.  You may still not pray over your Big Mac, but I bet you’ll have a conversation or two with God.  From time to time, you may even been grouped with the “Christians” that so many in society would rather ignore.  I’ll tell you this much though… it’s worth it.

Odds are, you’ve had a bad experience with a Christian.  It seems to happen a lot.  Maybe it’s turned you off.  I can certainly understand that.  I’ve had a few of those conversations myself.  Let me just say this, not all smarties are red!  Not all of us who call ourselves Christians are the same.  If you ever want to give the conversation another try, you know where to find me.