Because I Can… the random thoughts of Marc Scott

There are a lot of things that I’m not particularly good at.  For example, I’m not good at bending over and touching my toes.  In fact, I’m dreadful at it.  It’s a most embarrassing sight that would no doubt require complex medical procedures to undo should I ever attempt it.

I’m really not good at wearing women’s fashions.  I think it has something to do with hairy legs and bad balance in high heels.  OK, so, before the rumors start flying, I’ve actually never attempted to wear a woman’s dress or high heels, but I can only assume I would be bad it since I do, in fact, have hairy legs.  They’re also white as an untanned backside, and as big around as a the legs on a dwarf chicken.  I suspect that it’s because of these very reasons that God gave men jeans!

There’s one other thing that I really struggle with.  In fact, I struggle with it so much that it may very well be easier for me to wear a woman’s dress and bend over and touch my toes in high heels than it would be to deal with this particular issue.

When people find out what I do, they are usually impressed.  To me, it’s not a big deal.  It’s what I do.  It’s like a rock star playing a concert.  They do 300 of them a year.  So to them, it’s just another day in the office.  But to their fans, it’s the greatest thing since the invention of the twisty, environment saving light bulb.  I see my job as just another day at the office.  Other people tend to see it as more.

I work on the radio.  It’s a great deal.  I spend 4 hours reclined back in a big, comfy office chair and I play music.  Occasionally I come on and talk about something, with varying levels of intelligence, and a couple times an hour I give out the weather forecast which, will inevitably turn out to be wrong.  When I’m not on the radio I’m a Volunteer Firefighter and I do voice work.

Over the years I’ve done a lot of neat things.  I’ve interviewed artists, I’ve had my own radio and TV shows, I’ve run into burning buildings – well, more walked than run… they only run into them in the movies – and I’ve recorded voice-overs for everything from radio to TV to cartoons.  I really have been blessed.

It would be easy to be arrogant, I think.  I mean, I can appreciate that not everybody gets the opportunities that I’ve had.  I never really let it go to my head though.  I’m just another guy doing a job.  I’m just a servant, using the gifts that have been bestowed upon me by God, and trying to do good things with them.  I’m a pretty humble guy I suppose.

For this reason, the one thing that I’m bad at, perhaps more than any other thing, is taking a compliment.  It’s brutal.  I will do about anything to avoid a compliment.  I’ll change the subject, I’ll redirect, I’ll pretend like I’m getting a fire call and run away, or, worst of them all, I respond with some sarcastic remark that, while intended to be given and received with humor, is usually given with humor and received with insult and offense.

I had never really thought about any of this before.  Not too deeply anyway.  I always just assumed it was OK for me to pass those things off without much thought.  I never received them, not like I should have.  I couldn’t even say thank you for them.  I didn’t want them.  The irony is, I’m pretty great at giving them.  I love to give them in fact.  I love to build people up.  To make people feel good.  It’s not about ego stroking.  It’s just about giving credit where credit is due.

I read something yesterday.  Something I’ve read a thousand times.  Something I’ve actually got memorized because it’s been drilled into me since my childhood.  A man asks Jesus what good deed he must do to receive eternal life.

Jesus said, “Why do you question me about what’s good? God is the One who is good. If you want to enter the life of God, just do what he tells you.”

The man asked, “What in particular?”

Jesus said, “Don’t murder, don’t commit adultery, don’t steal, don’t lie, honor your father and mother, and love your neighbor as you do yourself.”
Matthew 19:17-19 The Message

Even though I’ve read it a thousand times, it hit me different yesterday.  It hit me hard.  Kind of like I was standing in front of the train which is currently whistling by outside my apartment right now.  Love your neighbour as yourself.

My inability to take a compliment has a lot less to do with me trying to be humble and a lot more to do with me having some issues with self esteem.  I struggle with compliments, mostly, because I don’t think I’m worthy to receive them.  That is why I’m always dodging them, rejecting them, and refusing to accept them.  Lack of self esteem, in turn, keeps me humble, but not necessarily in a good way.

I don’t think that when I build up others, that I’m faking it.  At the same time though, I had to ask myself how can I truly love others if I can’t even love myself?

This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love.
John 11:12 The Message

I never meant to offend anyone when I rejected their compliment.  I’ve come to realize that by refusing it, or throwing it back at them, though, I wasn’t showing love to them.  I wasn’t allowing them to love me.  I most definitely wasn’t participating in any kind of love under the example set by Jesus.

I was thinking about a line from Ernest Saves Christmas. “They never get old. They always stay new. Those three little words, Please and Thank You.” That’s what I need to work on.  “Thank you.”  It’s not so hard.  My vocabulary definitely contains much larger, much more difficult words.  So I’m not entirely sure why I struggle so much with those two.

I really have no desire to touch my toes.  It seems unnecessary to me.  So I’m OK with being bad at that.  I also have no desire to flaunt my white-boy chicken legs off in a dress and a pair of stilettos.  Again, I’m OK with being bad at that.  Quite frankly, the world will be a better place so long as I remain bad at that one!  If I’m going to protect the world at large from my hairy chicken legs, then that means there is one thing remaining, and that will have to be the one I work on.  I’ve got to work on love and “thank you.”