Beyonce has an alter ego, or at least that is what she tells us. Sasha Fierce. Apparenly Ms. Fierce only comes out on stage. This alter ego allows Beyonce, if only for the duration of a performance, to become someone else. Someone that she is not. It sounds a little crazy, yet at the same time, a little appealing.
I blogged, about two weeks ago, on “The Show“. In a nutshell, I explained that things aren’t always what they seem with me. Ever since I posted that blog I’ve felt like maybe I didn’t dig quite deep enough, or perhaps explain quite well enough. I’ve been trying to think of how I could better describe it.
I am a big fan of the Superman movies. Who isn’t? I am not a hardcore comic book guy or anything like that. In fact, I don’t own a single Superman comic, nor do I believe that I ever have. There is something very inspiring about the idea of flight though. It would be even better if I could do it while still keeping my underwear inside my pants. Superman was obviously a bit more bold than I.
As I thought through the analogy, what I realized is that I am a lot more Clark Kent than I am Superman. I’m the quiet, mild mannered reporter. The one who stumbles and fumbles through his day. Socially awkward, shy with ladies and men alike. A bit of a wallflower. A guy who seems to always get the job done, but is simply content to go unnoticed. He neither needs, nor wants the attention.
Then there is Superman. Everybody, on some level, wants to be Superman. Superman is the high school quarterback. Superman is Brad Pitt. He is the guy the every other guy wants to be. The one the people love. The one who can do no wrong. He is smooth, and heroic and charming and funny and brave and mysterious and popular, and all those things, those qualities, we all wish we had, but many of us don’t.
Radio, in 4 hour windows, allows me to try and channel my inner Superman. It allows me to be something that I’m not, someone I’m not. I am content to be Clark Kent, but even he becomes Superman from time to time! I can be bold, and quick, and witty. I can say things I woudn’t otherwise say. Do things I wouldn’t otherwise do. Talk to people I would otherwise never know. In the midst of it all, I am protected by the anonymity of radio. Radio is my suit and thick rimmed glasses. Clark Kent has a phone booth, I have a studio. I walk into the studio and become somebody else, and I as walk out of the studio, I am Clark Kent again.
It sounds perfect, and in many ways it is. It gives me a chance to try and be a different version of myself, all the while never revealling who I am really. What I have come to learn though, is that it also has a downside. It gives people a false impression. When all that somebody knows of me is the guy they hear on the radio, they really aren’t getting to know me at all. I never thought much of it before, because there has always been a seperation. The guy on the radio, and the guy off the radio have never comingled.
I do what I do at work because they hire me to entertain. Drive people home, and do it with fun and a smile, they say. In reality, I am the last guy you should be asking to do that. When I drive, sometimes I go for hours in silence and just take in the beauty and creation around me. That won’t work on the radio though, so I put on a show. I try to have fun. I try to be fun. People that really know me know it’s a show. Most of them think it’s pretty funny too. They know how far from actual reality that guy on the radio really is.
At the end of the day though, I don’t want there to be any confusion. Off the air and outside of the studio, red undies or not, I wear them inside my pants. Off the air, I am Clark Kent.
1 Response
Been there, felt that. I quit school during grade 9 when my father died and my mother was injured. I became the man of the house. Jobs were easy to find then and the first day I started looking I was hired by noon. Just a labourer in a factory but it was a steady paycheck. I had tough bosses that demanded 100% and through my teen years there were many confrontations, most because I had not developed a work ethic and thought they were are slave drivers.I spent five years with my first employer and then moved to a big employer in Brantford. Much better pay but they had much higher expectations. It did not take long for me to figure out the game. If my work met or exceeded their expectations, they left me alone and now and then I got a pat on the back. Instead of getting angry and upset when a machine malfunctioned and caused me to work much harder than I should, I decided to not let a machine control my emotions and began to work on ways to beat the machine, and I did. Soon no matter what job I was assigned I made an effort to be the best. Silly pride, maybe, but my day went a lot better. After a few years they approached me and asked me to leave the safety of the union and become a supervisor. What? I’m a natural introvert and hate confrontations. A supervisor in a union environment can expect a steady diet of it, no worker wants to be known as a suck up to a supervisor. Argue with your boss and you’re one of the guys. I declined the job. They asked me to simply write the test, no commitment. I figured if I write the test then they will leave me alone and have no resentment. So I write the tests. From the start the HR lady stressed the time limit and then escorted me to a small claustrophobic cubicle with a very large timer that tick-tocked louder then Big Ben. The purpose was obvious. It was so funny that it totally relaxed me and I completed the tests in less then half the allotted time. Early into the tests I saw the purpose of the questions and gave them the answers they wanted and not my honest responses. They were trying to trick me so I tricked them back. The following week the plant manager summoned me to a meeting. I had scored one of the highest marks ever. OH NO! He offered me 50% more than I was earning to be a supervisor. I refused, I was not capable of doing the job, I had lied on the test. He offered me double my present wage and gave me 48 hours to consider it. I left, totally depressed. Lord help me. Thinking about it later I realized that the test was designed to find people that could “beat it”, not answer it truthfully, really honest bosses are rare if not non-existent. So I did accept the job and waited to be chewed up by a pack of management hating subordinates. This is where I put on my Superman suit. I played the role. I became the authority. I became the man of steel. After each day I thanked God for letting me make through another day. In time I learned to look at the job as a game similar to chess. I went in played my best, won some, lost some but left it at work.I was promoted several times and eventually ended up being the manager of the Quality Control Dept. making very good money when I retired and I did it all with my Superman suit.
Posted on July 19th, 2009 at 18:22
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