One of my favorite things to do is go for a drive with a destination in mind, but not a route. Until you’ve done it, you’ll never appreciate all that you’re missing out on. Some people, often city folk, may be surprised to hear this, but there are roads in this province outside of the QEW and 400 series highways! Many, many roads. Wide roads and narrow roads. Straight roads and curved roads. Flat roads and roads with high crests and steep hills. Some of them go through cities and towns, and others cut through country, edged by long grass, tall trees and farmer’s fields.
When I was a child riding in the backseat of our old green Ford, I remember thinking two things. First, it must be so much fun to be able to drive a car. Second, I have no idea how mom and dad can remember how to get so many places! I recall being paralyzed by the thought of having to navigate my way to some place other than Grandma’s house. I’d never be able to do it. So many roads. So many turns. There was simply no way.
I laugh at that thought now. Mostly because my mission in life, or at least one of them seems to be, is to find as many different ways to get to the same place as possible. Sometimes I just set out and randomly head in the general direction of my destination. Other times I’ll glance over a map. Still other times, I’ll rely on my trusty GPS. Well… for the most part it’s trusty. I’m never really concerned with getting lost. Mostly I’m just looking for adventure. New sights. New smells. New twists and turns and hills and places.
Going from A to B in my truck is a delight for me. Often times, it’s a relaxing escape from the mundane routine of my life. Wake at the same time. Eat at the same time. Shower at the same time. Go to work at the same time. There is no need for a watch in my world. My routine keeps track of everything. So my random road trips break it up. They provide relief. A new experience to break the same old day to day life.
If only life itself, could be as easy as my road trips. That, however, is an entirely different animal. Whereas my road trips are based on never knowing whether I’ll turn left or right, life itself often requires a little more thought. A little more structure. A little more certainty.
The proverbial fork in the road. We’ve all been there, done that. It’s happened to us a thousand times before, and it will happen to us a thousand times again. Many times, the decision is small. Simple. Of little significance. Often, as we head on our chosen path, if things aren’t working out, we double back and try the other road. Every so often though, we’re faced with a grander quandary. One that requires much more thought. Much more attention. One that, once a path has been chosen, we cannot so easily make our way back. I often find this happens as we get older. Things matter more. Youth maybe isn’t on our side as it was once before. Responsibilities we’ve acquired over the years take a toll on our decisions.
I find myself standing at such a fork. I look left, and find safety. Perhaps a level of assuredness. Comfort in the tried and tested. Familiarity in the known. A path, no doubt, filled with it’s share of obstacles, but one that I’ve walked along for many years. One that I am as familiar with as I am the route to Grandma’s house.
Then I look right. Down this path, I see a dream. A vision of what could be. Of what I may wish to be. It, however, is an unknown road. It’s obstacles may be few. It’s obstacles may be many. I can’t really say with much certainly, as I’ve never journeyed down this road. While I’m confident of what rewards would be waiting at the end of the path to my left, I can only hypothesize about the rewards, if any, waiting on the path to my right.
I’ve been standing and looking at this fork for about a month now, though it’s been the sole focus of my thoughts during this present week. It’s consumed me day and night. Left? Right? A decision must be made. I question whether it’s an act of faith or stupidity? Is it a test in bravery or cowardice? Do I choose what will be, or what might be? Then again, even with the anticipated certainty of one path, does anybody ever really know what will be or what might be?
Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires. Psalm 37:4
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6
I’ve never prayed as fervently about something as I’ve prayed about this. Were it not for my ability to reach out to God, I have no doubt this decision would make my head explode. My heart breaks to think that people try and make decisions like this alone. I haven’t found my answer yet, but I believe with all my heart that I will. When the time is right, God will guide my steps, so long as I’m willing, and I will start my journey left or right. And when I do, I will travel with confidence knowing this time, there will be no need for looking back.
1 Response
As I have learned form recent – and not so recent – experience, is that the less you think about it, the more you find yourself guided toward what is the road you need to take. It just feels like the right one in a split second, without so much thought or re-reading a pro-con list. A friend recently told me that besides praying, she throws her question to the universe – or God – and just waits to see how things start to unfold, and she see’s the path very clear.
As you said, the most important thing is to not have to look back..
May your way be one filled with what you are looking for.
Cheers!
Posted on August 20th, 2009 at 21:49
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