Because I Can… the random thoughts of Marc Scott

One of my favorite things to do is go for a drive with a destination in mind, but not a route.  Until you’ve done it, you’ll never appreciate all that you’re missing out on.  Some people, often city folk, may be surprised to hear this, but there are roads in this province outside of the QEW and 400 series highways!  Many, many roads.  Wide roads and narrow roads.  Straight roads and curved roads.  Flat roads and roads with high crests and steep hills.  Some of them go through cities and towns, and others cut through country, edged by long grass, tall trees and farmer’s fields.

When I was a child riding in the backseat of our old green Ford, I remember thinking two things.  First, it must be so much fun to be able to drive a car.  Second, I have no idea how mom and dad can remember how to get so many places!  I recall being paralyzed by the thought of having to navigate my way to some place other than Grandma’s house.  I’d never be able to do it.  So many roads.  So many turns.  There was simply no way.

I laugh at that thought now.  Mostly because my mission in life, or at least one of them seems to be, is to find as many different ways to get to the same place as possible.  Sometimes I just set out and randomly head in the general direction of my destination.  Other times I’ll glance over a map.  Still other times, I’ll rely on my trusty GPS.  Well… for the most part it’s trusty.  I’m never really concerned with getting lost.  Mostly I’m just looking for adventure.  New sights.  New smells.  New twists and turns and hills and places.

Going from A to B in my truck is a delight for me.  Often times, it’s a relaxing escape from the mundane routine of my life.  Wake at the same time.  Eat at the same time.  Shower at the same time.  Go to work at the same time.  There is no need for a watch in my world.  My routine keeps track of everything.  So my random road trips break it up.  They provide relief.  A new experience to break the same old day to day life.

If only life itself, could be as easy as my road trips.  That, however, is an entirely different animal.  Whereas my road trips are based on never knowing whether I’ll turn left or right, life itself often requires a little more thought.  A little more structure.  A little more certainty.

The proverbial fork in the road.  We’ve all been there, done that.  It’s happened to us a thousand times before, and it will happen to us a thousand times again.  Many times, the decision is small.  Simple.  Of little significance.  Often, as we head on our chosen path, if things aren’t working out, we double back and try the other road.  Every so often though, we’re faced with a grander quandary.  One that requires much more thought.  Much more attention.  One that, once a path has been chosen, we cannot so easily make our way back.  I often find this happens as we get older.  Things matter more.  Youth maybe isn’t on our side as it was once before.  Responsibilities we’ve acquired over the years take a toll on our decisions.

I find myself standing at such a fork.  I look left, and find safety.  Perhaps a level of assuredness.  Comfort in the tried and tested.  Familiarity in the known.  A path, no doubt, filled with it’s share of obstacles, but one that I’ve walked along for many years.  One that I am as familiar with as I am the route to Grandma’s house.

Then I look right.  Down this path, I see a dream.  A vision of what could be.  Of what I may wish to be.  It, however, is an unknown road.  It’s obstacles may be few.  It’s obstacles may be many.  I can’t really say with much certainly, as I’ve never journeyed down this road.  While I’m confident of what rewards would be waiting at the end of the path to my left, I can only hypothesize about the rewards, if any, waiting on the path to my right.

I’ve been standing and looking at this fork for about a month now, though it’s been the sole focus of my thoughts during this present week.  It’s consumed me day and night.  Left?  Right?  A decision must be made.  I question whether it’s an act of faith or stupidity?  Is it a test in bravery or cowardice?  Do I choose what will be, or what might be?  Then again, even with the anticipated certainty of one path, does anybody ever really know what will be or what might be?

Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires. Psalm 37:4

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6

I’ve never prayed as fervently about something as I’ve prayed about this.  Were it not for my ability to reach out to God, I have no doubt this decision would make my head explode.  My heart breaks to think that people try and make decisions like this alone.  I haven’t found my answer yet, but I believe with all my heart that I will.  When the time is right, God will guide my steps, so long as I’m willing, and I will start my journey left or right.  And when I do, I will travel with confidence knowing this time, there will be no need for looking back.

One of my favorite things to do is turn off all the lights in my apartment and watch a thunderstorm.  I’ll sit on the patio as long as I can, and then move inside and watch through the sliding door when the rain hits hard.

People don’t always appreciate thunderstorms.  They are viewed as a nuisance.  An annoyance.  This act of nature that floods our basements, drowns our gardens and turns off our TV’s without use of a remote.  I look at them differently though.  I see God in the storm.  I see an exquisitely painted picture of forgiveness and grace.  I see darkness overcome by light.

We had a great storm tonight.  One of the best I’ve had to pleasure of witnessing in quite some time.  I sat in the patio, slouched back in the comfortable embrace of my Muskoka chair, legs outstretched on the railing, and in the stillness and the night, I took in all that I saw, felt, and experienced.

Below are some of my thoughts that I posted to my Twitter page in the midst of the storm.  My hope is that you’ll read them and maybe next time allow yourself to view this natural symphony in a different light.

I just saw the greatest lightning strike of my life. 4 bolts simultaneously moving north, south, east & west! It seems the show isn’t over!
23:27

And as gently and softly as it moved it, it moves out with the same quiet, yet commanding, grace.
23:14

A double bolted strike of fork lightning just lit the darkness bright as day. It’s needs no words to be appreciated. Just eyes.
23:05

Even Fred & Ginger could not dance with the grace of these bold streaks of light stepping brightly across the night sky.
22:43

One flash of lightning is all it takes to separate the vast pool of blackened sky. A left to right stroke as if God were signing His name.
22:30

The tallest, strongest, boldest trees are reduced to but mere shadows in the face of the storm. Puppets swaying at the command of the wind.
22:27

Nature’s symphony. A perfect blend of music and light. The original rock concert performed by God.
22:17

What a beautiful picture this paints. Even in the blackest night. The thickest dark. Light can always prevail! Thank you for grace!
22:08

The floodgates of heaven have opened. The calm silence broken by the forceful charge of the rain.
22:06

The clouds have take on an orangey red tint. The firefighter in me is smiling.
22:04

The authoritative groan of thunder is near. The trees are beginning to dance. The air is stirring. It’s presence now felt and heard.
22:00

The crickets song provides the most fitting & soothing accompaniment for this illuminating spectacle in the clouds. I sit in awe of creation.
21:52

The air is so thick and heavy tonight. It’s like being hugged tighly in a blanket that you can feel but not touch.
21:47

Twitter.com/MarcScott

Last night when I went to bed, I did so still trying to decide what I was going to do today.  I’m not always the greatest at making decisions when it comes to my days off.  Often I come up with brilliant ideas, and many times, they remain in my head while I remain in bed… late… till noon… or sometimes… well… I don’t want you to get the wrong impression of me.  Lets just assume I never stay in bed past noon on my days off.

As it turned out, this morning I was jolted awake by my fire department pager.  I believe it was just after 8a.  To be honest, when it wakes me up, unless it’s still dark out, I never really bother to pay much attention to the time.  If the sun is shining, I just assume it’s sometime during the day.

When I got back from the call it was a little after 9a.  Part of me, I will not say whether it was large or small, really wanted to climb back into bed.  As one who suffers from bouts of insomnia, I just try and take sleep whenever I can get it.  It has nothing to do with being lazy.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

As I stood in my room, feeling almost magnetically or cosmically or, perhaps just willingly, drawn to my bed, I made a decision.  I was already up, it was my day off, so why not do something random and fun.  I do enjoy doing such things from time to time, though I confess, I don’t do them as often as a single guy as I did when I had someone to share my adventures with.  Nevertheless, my mind was made up that an adventure was in order.  I grabbed my camera, I grabbed my iPod, and I went to my truck.

Huntsville, and the area around it, is, in my opinion, one of the most beautiful places in Ontario.  I spent many summer vacations camping there.  I also know all the good spots to hit!  If you want ice cream… I’ve got a place.  If you’re into baked goods… I’ve got a place.  Looking for a little Christmas spirit on a sunny summer day… I’ve got a place.  Looking for a hike in the wilderness… I’ve got all kinds of places!  Huntsville ended up being my destination for a spontaneous road trip.

The toughest part of my random road trip was deciding which places I would hit.  With only a day at my disposal, I wouldn’t be able to take in everything I enjoy doing there.  I was going to have to be selective.  I had a near 4 hour drive to figure it out as well.

Once I got there, I stopped into a few shops I like to browse in.  I hit the bakery, one of the greatest I’ve ever experienced and bought a number of various and assorted treats.  I also went to Ragged Falls, which is one of my favorite sights to see.  When I was done, I turned around, detoured through Shelburne to drop off some baked goods for my dad, who was spending his weekend there, and then I made my way home.

I really needed to get away today.  I’ve had a lot on my mind lately.  Some pretty big things.  Life altering things.  Ideas and dreams and questions.  When I need to do some serious thinking, I always enjoy a good drive.  There is nothing to distract me.  No fire calls.  No TV.  No computer.  It’s just me and the road and God in the passenger seat.  What could be better?  Well, maybe me and the road and the love of my life in the passenger seat, but there will still be room for God… my truck seats five!  That will come one day, or so I like to tell myself anyway.

All told, in just under 12 hours, I drove well over 700km’s and mostly, I did it for an amazing double chocolate cookie.  It seems ridiculous.  I mean, a full day, probably about $75 in gas, all those kilometers on my truck, and for what?  A double chocolate cookie and a little bit of thinking!

My truck turned over 222,222km’s on my road trip today.  I took a picture of this milestone and posted it on my Twitter page.  Not long after doing that one of my “Tweeps” sent me the following reply… “222 – This is a sign of confirmation that you are on the right path, doing the right thing and going in the right direction.” When I read that, I had to smile.  What a timely and relevant word, considering the reason for my spontaneous road trip in the first place.

I’m not a guy that’s big into superstitions and hocus pocus and all that jazz.  I don’t know if the “222″ thing is numerology or fortune cookie or an entirely random and imagined fact said in the moment for the sake of having something to say.  Honestly though, it doesn’t matter.  My spontaneous road trip wasn’t just about a journey to a destination, it was about a journey for confirmation; confirmation that I may have found when the odometer hit 222,222.

As a self diagnosed over-thinker, I often find myself asking myself a lot of questions that I’ll probably never get the answers to.  Sometimes, I’m not entirely sure if there even are answers to them.  One of these days, perhaps, I’ll just accept that some things simply are, and that is really all the explanation necessary.

I started my day today by asking why in the world morning has to come so early.  More specifically, I was asking why in the world I agreed to participate in an event that would see me getting out of bed at 8a on a Saturday, my day off.  I know what you’re thinking, I’m a whiner.  Everybody gets out of bed at 8a.  OK.  Fair enough.  Give me this much though, I’m an insomniac.  I need to take sleep when I can get it.  I can’t get it, if I’m setting alarm clocks and waking myself up!

It took me nearly an hour to feel like I was even in my body.  After a long shower, face contact with a door frame, a cracked shin on the sharp corner of my bed, and a stubbed toe on my weight bench, which is actually more of a clothes hanging device than it is a weight bench, I was somewhat coherent.

I drove to work and listened to a few of my favorite songs, and tried to get myself pumped.  Well, I tried to get myself awake anyway.  Baby steps, you know.  During the drive, I started asking another question.  Why does it have to rain?

I was on my way to a car wash.  It was a big deal too.  A national event raising money for Cystic Fibrosis research and treatment.  The sponsor, CarStar, was also hoping to set a Guinness World Record by washing 4000 cars, nationally, in 8 hours.  I was going with the radio station to host a 4 hour remote from the location in Brantford.  We were hoping to really hype it up and get lots of people out.  I’m all about raising money for great causes, but as I watched the rain fall from the dark skies above, I wasn’t feeling very good about the event.

When I pulled into the radio station parking lot, I asked another question.  Why did my pager have to go off!  Not 10 seconds after I got into the parking lot, I got a fire call for a possible structure fire.  Any other Saturday and I would have been home for it.  Because I was doing this car wash in the rain, I was missing it!  That is always depressing for me, because I love being a firefighter.  The thing is, it’s kind of hard to be one when you’re missing the call.

So here it was, 9:30 in the morning, and my obsessive question asking, over-thinking habit, had already given me a bad attitude without even realizing it.  Early morning, little sleep, rain – with no end in sight, and now I’m missing a possible structure fire.  I was convincing myself, unintentionally, that today was going to suck.

When I arrived at the event I was introduced to the owners of the location, and met a couple of the people responsible for helping with the event.  A group of students from St. John’s College, and a group of people from Participation House, were giving up their Saturday to volunteer for this event.  They were the ones that would be washing cars in the rain, while I watched from inside.  Suddenly, I was feeling a little convicted about my bad attitude.

As the morning progressed, I witnessed something amazing.  I watched a group of probably 30 people, standing outside in non stop rain, washing cars with smiles on their faces, and genuinely having a great time!  If you can’t beat it, join it, I said during one of my cut-ins on the air.  That’s what these people were doing.  The rain was soaking them anyway, so why not have some fun?  Water fights were happening everywhere.  Water balloons were being tossed, covert attacks were being launched, and the garden hose become a tool for battle domination!

The volunteers were laughing, dancing and singing in the rain.  Not just one or two of them either.  All of them.  They were just having fun!  While I was thinking the event was going to tank because people wouldn’t come and get their car washed in the rain, and as a result, very little money would be raised, they were out there living in the moment.  They were taking control of their circumstances instead of letting their circumstances take control of them.  It was a humbling sight, and a beautiful sight!

I tried as hard as I have ever tried on air today.  I wanted to be great for them.  Because of them!  I wanted to have flawless breaks.  I wanted to paint an accurate picture of this incredible experience that was unfolding before my eyes.  I wanted everybody listening to the radio today to come and see it for themselves, and maybe, just maybe, catch some of the joy that I did.  And you know what?  People did come!  Lots of people.  They honked their horns as they drove by.  They got their cars washed in the rain.  And they ate hamburgers… glorious hamburgers!

When the sun came out 15 minutes before the end of the event, after raining non stop since the morning, most of us just laughed.  When I got in my truck to drive home, I started thinking.  Maybe that sunshine was a smile from God.  Nobody questioned Him for the rain.  Nobody even complained.  They just washed cars, and sang and danced in the rain.  I bet that made Him happy, and I think that’s why He smiled.

When it comes to words, specifically, the written word, there are two kinds of people, as I see it.  There are writers, and then there are those who write.

Writers are important people, special people, gifted people.  They use their craft to earn or living and bring about change.  They write books and songs and magazine articles and report the news.  They’re published.  They’re famous, the scale of which isn’t so important because fame is entirely subjective.  Writers encourage us to read and make us want to read.  A writer can make you laugh, make you cry, make you smile, or make you vote for a political party.  Perhaps, for me anyway, most importantly, writers make you think.  They make you ask questions.  Maybe of yourself, or maybe of others.  Good writing generates good dialogue, or I think it should.

Then there are people who write.  These people don’t expect to be read, and don’t really care if they’re read because they probably don’t think they’re good enough to be read.  Some of them write journals, some of them write blogs, some of them write girls phone numbers on napkins in coffee shops.  Some write for fun, some write to hone their craft with aspirations of being published, some write because.  That’s it.  Just because.  And you know what?  That’s OK.

I am just someone who writes.  My dear friend Carrie will argue this.  But she also invited me over to punch me in the face once.  She says she was joking.  She probably won’t be after she reads this. We debate the writer vs someone who writes deal often.  I get to win because it’s my blog.  I digress.  Since I don’t very often find myself writing down girls phone numbers on napkins at coffee shops; something I like to think has more to do with the fact that I don’t drink coffee than it does with the fact that no girl would ever give me her phone number, I write for therapy.

I assure you I am not mental.  Not yet.  Or, not entirely.  I suppose that could be considered subjective as well.  For the sake of argument though, lets assume my mental faculties or mostly in tact.  When I say I write for therapy, I just mean that it’s a good way for me to get stuff out there.  Sometimes I just need to get stuff out there.  If 300 people read it, if 3 people read it, if nobody ever reads it, is of little consequence.

My friends whom are closest to me have a small insight into how my mind works.  I tell them I’ll never let them fully understand because once they are in there, there is no turning back.  Basically though, they know that sometimes, I’ve got to vent.  It could take 5 minutes.  It could take 50 minutes.  Their job, and God bless each one of them for doing it so well, is to sit and listen.  Sometimes I’ve just got to throw everything out there from the completely probable to the utterly ridiculous.  It’s not that I believe it all, it’s just that I need to get it out in the open so I can begin the process of sifting through it and making sense of it.

My friends that I chat with online are the lucky ones.  Especially on the 50 minute sessions.  For all I know they’ve long since left the computer.  They could be outside mowing the lawn, or eating a banana split or going for a swim.  All the while, I’m just typing away, blabbing away, venting away.  As long as they come back before I’m finished, I’d never know they left.  Even in their absence, the session is just as effective because I got everything out in the open.  Of course, having just said this, for those that hadn’t got the bright idea to go for a banana split during one of my venting episodes, they’ll now likely do it.  This means I’ll have to start asking random questions in the midst of everything, just to be sure they are still there!

After I’m done, after I’ve let it all out, and when I’ve completed the process of sifting through it and finding sense, if any sense is to be found, I write.  That’s what you see.  That’s what you read.  My therapy.  Dr Phil it is not, but it’s real.

It can be an intimidating thing, I admit this.  Once it’s out there, on this world wide web, I’m exposed.  Vulnerable.  Open.  One day, I suppose, that could come back to haunt me.  Thus far it hasn’t.  I like to tell myself – though I promise not out loud –  that maybe I’m not as crazy as I think I am.  Maybe we’re all just a bunch of people taking up space in the cosmos, dealing with the same stuff, thinking about the same things, sorting through the same chaos caused by same problems.  Brothers and sisters.  Like God intended it.

If my blood sister needed my help, I’d give it.  I’d likely tease her for a while, or make her beg for it a little, but eventually I’d help her.  So maybe some of the things I write, and some of the things you read will help you too.

When I am in my truck there is one thing that happens as often as the key gets turned in the ignition… the iPod gets turned on!  When I drive music, of all styles, is my companion.  I can’t look at it, or reach out to it in the passenger seat.  But it provides melodic conversation that engages me from point A to point B.

Today though, as I prepared for my journey to work, I made a conscious decision to keep the iPod off.  Instead, my companion would be the creation around me.  In the quiet confines of my truck, as I traveled down the country back roads I often take to work, I used not my ears, but my eyes for entertainment.

In the busyness of life, in the hurried pace of society, it’s so easy for us to lose sight of all that is around us.  Our eyes lock into televisions and computer screens.  Bluetooth headsets have become a fixture as commonplace as earrings.  We have things to do, people to meet, places to go.  It seems a never ending, frantic pace.  It’s all, more often than not, in an effort to fit into our days more than our available time will allow.  In the process of that though, we miss so much.  So much of what is right before us, longing for us to notice it.

As as looked out at the creation around me, trying to soak it all in before I walked inside the 4, outside windowless walls of a radio studio, several thoughts entered my mind.

I thought about the grass.  There is a sod farm on one of the roads I take.  A sprawling sea of the most beautiful green you’ve ever looked upon.  Wide open space, and one hundred percent nature.  Living in an apartment, I don’t have a lawn to lay down in.  I miss it.  I listen to the guys at work, and at the fire hall, complaining about cutting the grass.  It seems an unappreciated wonder.  It often takes stains on the knees of our pants to make us notice it.

Next, I looked up.  The big blue sky is as limitless as the possibilities of all we can do, hear, see, touch, smell, and experience in our lives.  My mind raced with wonder.  Where does it begin?  Where does it end?  Why do I spend so much time in my apartment, staring at a ceiling of white, when I could sit on my porch and be hypnotized by a sea of blue?  Often, it takes the sky breaking with lightning, and opening with torrential rain to get our attention and make us notice it.

With the window down and the breeze blowing in my face, I felt the warmth of the spring air wrap itself around me like a hug.  Each ripple of wind like a finger reaching out for me.  It grabbed at me like your grandma does when you haven’t seen her for a while.  Surrounded by it’s embrace, I thought about how it takes a season of bone chilling cold to make us notice it.

It felt great to shut off everything for a while.  No TV.  No Radio.  No laptop or Blackberry or microwave oven.  Technology, in that moment, was an after thought.  All that man has made was, of little significance.  For that time, brief as it was, I existed only in the quiet serenity of some of the best that God has to offer us.  And all it took, was me turning off the distractions of life to get me to notice it

Roughly 60% of the traffic I’ve had on this blog in the past few days has been as a result of Google searches for “Jon & Kate” or “Jon & Kate Plus 8.”  I wrote one blog about them on January 10, 2009 (check it here) and it’s from that single blog, that I now receive hundreds of hits a day from individuals who are looking them up in Google.

Since Jon & Kate are back in the news, and since their searches are generating the vast majority of traffic on my blog right now, I figured I may as well jump on the bandwagon, so to speak, and address the current situation.  I’ve read a bit about the allegations being made against Jon.  My reading has included both media reports and blogs.  I wanted to make sure I had a firm grasp on what the deal was before I made any sort of comments about it.  Now that I’m convinced I’m thoroughly educated with regards to what is floating around about them in cyberspace I feel more than equipped to share my two cents.

My thoughts are as follows, and you may not like this, but here we go.  It’s none of your stinking business!

The allegations are that Jon is cheating on Kate with a school teacher.  I do not know if these allegations are true or false, nor do I particularly care because, as previously mentioned, it is none of your business… nor is it mine.

Jon had he following to say on the issue…

“These allegations are false and just plain hurtful,” Gosselin said Wednesday, insisting: “I did not cheat on Kate.” Gosselin was speaking out against tabloid reports that he’s had an affair with a Pennsylvania schoolteacher. Photos of Gosselin and the woman have surfaced in recent weeks.

“I need to be more careful and aware of who I am associating with and where I am spending my time,” said Gosselin, who apologized for putting his family “in this awkward position.”

Quite frankly, that is good enough for me.  I’m a firm believer in giving everybody the benefit of the doubt until they give me a reason to not.  Then… I forgive them!

To the media that is digging for dirt, and more than likely praying to their media gods that there is more to this story, I say get a life.  Write about something positive.  Something productive.  Something that will actually contribute to society as a whole.  You may be surprised at how it makes you feel about yourself.  Good!

To the bloggers who are condemning Jon to hell, I say, get a life!  You don’t know the whole story.  You likely never will know the whole story.  So find something better to blog about.  How about important issues like what are you trying to hide in your own life by focusing your attention on destroying somebody else’s!  That would make for a great blog.  When you write it, let me know.  I’ll read it, link it, and maybe even mention it on my radio show!

I’ve often wondered if Jon & Kate themselves have ever read the blog I wrote about them.  I mean, lets be honest, who hasn’t googled themselves to see what comes up?  So just in case, to you both, Jon & Kate, my prayers are with you as you deal with unnecessary scrutiny.  I am sure you are well aware that by setting yourselves up in the public spotlight, these storms would come.  That doesn’t make it right, and it certainly doesn’t make it any easier.  But there one is who will get you through them.  I know you pray to the same God I do.  He’s listening!

For the rest of us, I share the following advice I read it in a great book once.  You should spend a little time reading it for yourself.  We all need to be spending some time reading it for ourselves!

“Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor. Matthew 7:3-5 The Message

Yesterday was my day off.  It feels like it’s the first one I’ve had in a while.  Technically, I do get every weekend off, but last weekend I worked an event for World Vision and the two weekends before that I was sick.  I don’t count days being sick as days off.  Sometimes marathon puking is more work than going to an actual job!  My apologies.  That probably just bordered on the “too much information” line didn’t it?

I’m not a big fan of alarm clocks.  I don’t think it’s right to let an electronic device tell your body when it should get up.  It seems to me that the body is a pretty complex machine and no simple man-made device should be given the opportunity to rule it.  Therefore, I’m a firm believer in sleeping until you’re done.  By no means do I intend for this to be an excuse for laziness, I just think that when your body is ready to be awake, it’ll be awake, and when it’s ready to go to sleep, it’ll go to sleep.  So, instead of making it work around me, I just work around it – when I can.

My morning started with a fire call at 11:00a.  I was still in bed sound asleep.  When the pager went off, I had no idea what time it was.  I just knew it was bright out and assumed it was sometime in the morning.  When I got in the back of the truck I asked somebody about the time and they told me it was after 11:00a.  I laughed.  They questioned me.  I simply said I was still sound asleep.  This particular individual failed the see the humor that I saw, as they start their day around 5:00a, 6 days a week.

When I got back from the call, I had no plans.  It was a day to do whatever I wanted, and as much or as little of it as I wanted.  What I decided to do was spend a little time dreaming.  I know what you’re thinking, “good grief Marc, you went back to bed?”  No, no I did not.  I’m not talking about that kind of dreaming.  I’m talking about awake dreaming.

I’m reading a book by John Maxwell called Dare To Dream. It’s a pretty good book.  There is one quote in it, in particular that I liked.

Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat. Theodore Roosevelt

Every so often I like to spend time getting lost in possibility.  A thought journey, you could say, through what could be.  I really believe that if you never take the time to think big, outrageous, seemingly impossible things, then it’s too easy to settle in the comfortable.  I don’t want to be that guy that lives comfortable.  Comfortable is good, but it’s not exciting.  It’s not challenging.  It’s not frustrating.  If you want a full, quality life, you need all those things.

As I sifted through the pages of the book, soaking in the wisdom sprinkled throughout it, I most definitely got lost in the some big dreams.  It was inspiring.  I was fortunate to accomplish my ultimate career goal at the age of 26.  So now, at 30, I’ve realized that it’s time to make some bigger goals.  Bigger goals mean bigger dreams!

I have no idea if I’ll ever achieve any of the things I think about.  I do know this though, I’ll most definitely never see any of it come to pass if I don’t even spend a little time thinking about it!  It would be impossible to make reality out of that which is never even conceived in my mind.

With all of my being, I believe God has put us all here for a purpose, and I believe He has equipped us with the skills necessary to fulfill that purpose.  I also believe that to often we settle by not allowing ourselves to be stretched.  It’s easy to feel like we’ve accomplished all that we can, and then call it good enough.  Not only do I want to accomplish all I can, but I want to keep myself open to accompishing all God can through me!  That’s the difference maker!  When we let ourselves be used by God, and rely on Him to work through us, then our big dreams can become big reality!

Let yourself take some time to think big today.  Don’t think about what you can do on your own.  That doesn’t require faith.  Think beyond what you can do.  Everybody needs to spend a Saturday in Dreamland!

Twitter is a pretty cool thing.  If you’ve never checked it out, I suggest you do.  I love the fact that you can connect with just about anyone and discuss just about anything.  There are quite a few celebrities using it now, and that has just added to it’s popularity.  I like that people like John Mayer, Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore, Shaquille O’Neal and others use it to connect.  It’s not messages coming from their publicist.  It’s messages coming from them.

One of the people I follow is Rob Thomas (twitter.com/ThisIsRobThomas).  Today he posted the following…

PT.1 i’m so tired of people saying that the miss usa contestant, Carrie Prejean, had courage to speak her mind. she’s a bigot.

PT.2 i’m sorry, but i think if you’re against gay marriage, you are a bigot and you shouldn’t be applauded for sharing your bigoted views.

I’m not one that goes around looking for controversy, but I was a little stirred by what he said.  Rob Thomas is most certainly entitled to his opinion, as is anyone, but I felt the need to respond to his post.  To be honest, he’s Rob Thomas.  I didn’t expect he would even read my reply, let alone respond to it.

@MarcScott: What about my right to believe in the biblical definition of marriage? I’m not a bigot. I just believe something different.

@ThisIsRobThomas: But your bible can’t tell me what i can do i MY home. your religion is for YOU.

@MarcScott: I agree. But the fact that I don’t share your belief doesn’t make me a bigot anymore than it makes u for not sharing mine.

It was a couple of quick comments back and forth between us.  Then the fun began.  I started getting inundated with messages from Rob Thomas fans who had been following along.  Let me just say that some of them were less than impressed with my thoughts.

If you want to get a lot of people to stop following your Twitter feed in a hurry… mention something about gay marriage and the Bible.  I think I lost around 20 followers after those messages.  I was OK with that though.  I had to stand up for what I believed.

What was really cool though was that, after sharing those “tweets”, I spent the next 4 hours messaging back and forth with a lot of his fans about the topic.  Here is what I’ve learned.  People will hear you out if you show them respect.  That is where I find the church often goes wrong.  It doesn’t always show respect.  It just says, “gay marriage is wrong and homosexuals are sinners” and it pretty much ends the conversation there.

For the record, I do believe gay marriage is wrong, and I also believe that homosexuality is a sin.  However, I think there are right ways and wrong ways to approach the conversation.  To the “Christians” who were ripping on Rob Thomas and telling people to stop following him… that would be the wrong way!

I was willing to hear people out.  Even the people that were calling me a bigot.  I let them speak and I didn’t judge them.  When they were finished, I shared my thoughts.  We had conversation and it’s foundation was love and mutual respect.  I explained that God’s definition of marriage is between a man and a woman and I think we should preserve the definition of marriage to remain in sync with that.  People hit me with the “free will” argument, to which I responded, that doesn’t mean I have to agree with your choices.  People said, “God wouldn’t discriminate against gays” and I had a chance to explain that God does love gays, but what they are doing is still a sin.  It went on and on.

I told people that it wasn’t my job to tell them if they were wrong or right.  I was simply explaining my belief to them.  That lead to several of them asking for scripture references so they could see for themselves.  I can’t even explain to you how awesome that felt.  Some of these people, I suspect, have very little, if any use, for the Bible.  Yet, they wanted to know where God said these things so they could look it up for themselves.

Carrie Prejean is now going to be participating in a national TV ad against gay marriage.  $1.5 million dollars is being spent on this campaign.  I haven’t seen the commercial, so I won’t put forth an opinion yet.  However, I’m not convinced this is the best approach.  I fear, whether it is meant to or not, that it will come across as another “attack on gays” by the Fundamentalist Conservatives.  That is not the way to use your voice.  That is not the way to get people to listen.

I do not have all the answers on the topic of gay marriage.  For a lot of people it’s a question of basic human rights.  Rights that are afforded to heterosexual married couples, but not gay couples.  I don’t have a good answer for that.  Why is a murderer, who is a sinner, extended rights, but a gay person, who is also a sinner, is not?  I don’t know.  I don’t have an answer.

It’s easy to say that if a gay person would turn from their sin, then this wouldn’t be an issue.  But really, is it that easy?  I don’t think it is.  I have read stories of Christian men and women who have done everything possible, right down to exorcism ceremonies to try and free themselves of their homosexual desires.  When it doesn’t work, what do you we?  Cast them aside?  Banish them to pits of hell?  Take from them the rights afforded to the “straight” people in society?  It seems to me like that isn’t a very good answer either.

Jesus said to love your neighbour as yourself.  It sort of comes down to that for me.  I don’t have all the answers.  I just know that tearing people down isn’t going to make them want to hear me out.  I also know that not everybody is going to agree with me, and that’s OK too.  But there still needs to be love.

Sports fans are a fickle group.  Not fickle in our love of sport mind you.  We are always passionate about sport.  Our love for it is steadfast and strong.  Our fickleness has more to do with allegiance to our team.  It can be swayed.  Not like an earthquake can shake a building from it’s very foundation.  It’s not quite that intense.  But more like a strong wind will heave a tall tree to-and-fro.  Our roots remain anchored, but still, we shift.

I’ve been a Toronto Blue Jays fan forever.  I’m not entirely sure, but I think it may be ingrained as a pre-requisite when you are born Canadian.  Maybe at least if you’re born in Ontario.  I suppose it’s not unlike passion for the Toronto Maples Leafs.  Then again, I couldn’t care less about hockey, so perhaps that’s a bad analogy.

CIBC used to give free Jays posters away back when I was a kid.  They’d come out with a new one every season I think.  I had a paper route back then.  I was never a big fan of saving money.  What kid is?  I had much more important things on my mind.  Sweedish Berries.  Lik-M-Aid (it’s seem an inappropriate name for candy doesn’t it?).  Big League Chew.  Gobstoppers.  Baseball Cards.  Yes, banking was certainly not high on my list of priorities.  To bank was to be old.  I’d likely have to start wearing a suit, or at least that is what I thought when I was a kid.

Mom was pretty adamant about me saving money though.  So she made me open an account.  Since the only bank in my small town was CIBC, I decided I would give them the pleasure and privilege of my business.  In return, they gave me Toronto Blue Jays posters.  It seemed a fair trade.  I had quite a few of them on my wall.  I don’t recall all the players now, but I do remember a Pat Borders one.

The walls of my room were covered with these CIBC Blue Jays posters along with some other Jays memorabilia.  I know there was a towel, a foam Jays logo (the old cool logo), and a Pennant.  It wasn’t hard to tell where my loyalty lied.

It was easy to be a Jays fan back then.  Especially when they were bringing home World Series wins and always seemed to be competitive.  Then we went into a slump that’s lasted for a while.  Is 15 years the technical definition of “a while?”  I’m not sure.  Regardless, it’s been a long, tough decade and a bit to watch Blue Jays baseball.

Have you ever noticed when a sports fan is talking about his team he uses phrases like, “we’re doing awesome right now!”  ”This year is our year!”  ”We picked up a big win last night.”  ”Our guys are looking good this season.”  When your team is doing well, they really are your team.  You talk about them like you’re a part of it.  Us, we, our.  It’s like you’ve got an ownership stake, or like you’re actually a part of it.  It feels good to be riding the wave of success.

Then there is the big loss.  A game where your team gets crushed.  Maybe you go on a cold streak.  Maybe you miss the playoffs.  Then all of the sudden your language changes.  ”They suck right now!”  ”I can’t believe they blew it this year.”  ”They got pounded last night.”  ”Those guys are looking like junk this season.”  Maybe it’s true what they say, when the going gets tough, the tough get going… right off the bandwagon!

That is what I’m talking about with the fickleness of sports fans.  Deep down, you still love your team.  But when things aren’t going so well, you disassociate from them a little bit.  You pull your ownership stake.  You don’t really want to be a part of it anymore.

When God is blessing me, my life is great.  I have a great show.  I booked a voice over job I really wanted to land.  I get an encouraging email from a friend.  I have an exciting experience at a fire call.  My bills are paid and there is a little money left in the bank for an Amazon shopping spree.  Whatever it might be, I’m loving God and God is loving me.  We are tight.  We are on the same team.

Then there are the other days.  The days when I have a bad show.  The days when I rank 1st on a big voice job, but then I don’t get a call back.  The days when I decide to go out of town for a few hours and end up missing 4 fire calls.  The days when something doesn’t turn out anything like I had hoped or dreamed or prayed for.  Those are the days when we stop saying “us” and “we” and start referring to the team as “them”.

No team is going to win every game.  They aren’t going to win every title.  They’ll have ups and downs, hot streaks and cold streaks.  It’s a lot like life.  God never promised we’d book every job.  He never promised we’d always have a little extra money in the bank.  He never promised every relationship will turn out the way we want.  He never promised sunshine and rainbows.

No matter where my loyalty lies, the Toronto Blue Jays are always going to be the Toronto Blue Jays.  Whether we’re winning, or they’re losing, baseball will be played. When I show up at the Dome or turn on the game, they’ll still let me be a fan.  God is the same.  When we’re feeling close to Him because we’re feeling blessed, and when we’re questioning Him or pushing Him away because we’re feeling shafted, His love will always remain.

God never promised us a smooth journey.  162 games is a long season, after all, with pretty of opportunities for ups and downs!  He just promised us He’d be there with us through it all if we’ll let Him.  I just wish I could be as loyal to Him as He is to me!